I really like California.
This is me and my sister, Stephanie, at Longshadow Ranch Vineyard in Temecula Valley.
Archive for December, 2007
…and to all lots of cookies!
I am in Chicago for Christmas. We have snow!
One of the hardest things about exercise is gaining the confidence to start in the first place.
The swimming pool is my ocean of insecurity. I remember swimming all the time as a kid, but pretty much stopped after grammar school (possibly because I became more aware of what I looked like in a bathing suit!). The longer I went without getting into a pool, the more I became convinced that I couldn’t swim in the first place.
After years of procrastination, I finally started swimming again last January. Now I wonder how I ever lived without it.
What happened to get me started? A few things…
- I hurt my ankle - Long story short: I used to run regularly, then I injured my ankle. Yes, it sucks that I had to hurt myself to look for other forms of cardiovascular exercise, but that’s life!
- I quit the gym - Another long story short: Without running, I turned to the gym for my exercise. But I eventually decided that the gym was an expensive way to not have very much fun.
- I discovered London Fields Lido - The outdoor heated pool in the middle of rough and tumble Hackney is its own oasis.
- Tim encouraged me - Support from friends and loved one is probably the best confidence booster their is. Tim suggested I start with the breast stroke, which gave me a bit of direction.
- I bought a bathing suit and swimming goggles - Well I wasn’t about to swim in my undies.
- I read about the basic strokes on the BBC website - It’s no substitute for swimming lessons, but it did give me an idea of what to do when I actually got into the pool.
- I went swimming once - I didn’t commit myself to a long term swimming program. I started with one swim; if I didn’t like it, no one was forcing me to go back. But I did like it, and I did go back.
- I looked at what other people were doing - When I was finally IN the pool, at the start of my very first lap EVER, I took a moment to survey the situation. The slow lane was a great place to get acquainted; there I found people of all types and abilities making their way across the pool and back again. Lots of people were clearly beginners. Others were hard core. But everyone seemed really happy to be there. So I plunged in and joined them!
This season, we often focus on all the things we want to change in the new year, but let’s not forget the things that went right THIS year. After all, the lessons we learn from success can help us to succeed in other areas.
Swimming is my most rewarding discovery of 2007. Yes, I’m fitter and stronger, but the best part is the fun in finding a new hobby. I’m not only learning how to swim, but also how to be confident and patient. My strategy from here is to use swimming as a template for finding confidence and patience in other areas of my life.
What about you? What’s your biggest success of 2007? How did you do it?
Photo courtesy of onionbagblogger on Flickr.com
I just finished a 2-day workshop on “Assertiveness and Self-Confidence Development”. It sounds cheezy, but the course was actually pretty fun and quite interesting. I just did a brain dump of some things that stuck with me, and am publishing it here for all the world to see.
Warning - stream of consciousness ahead:
Assertiveness is Cyclical: Assertiveness -> Getting what you want -> High Self Esteem -> Feeling Confident -> Assertiveness…
The goal of assertiveness boils down to getting what you want. So in its purest form, assertiveness is cold and calculating. But in reality, emotion means we have to make compromises.
Enter Transactional analysis, the idea that behavior is divided into three states: parent (critical or nurturing), adult (rational, logical, assertive), and child (free or adaptive). These states either cross or compliment each other. If we treat human interaction as a transaction between these ego states, the goal of assertiveness is to achieve an adult-adult transaction. When someone is not being an adult, we can respond with a complimentary ego state, then translate that state into adult. Sounds complex when phrased like this. Here’s an example:
My boss comes up to me and yells “Monica, this proposal you wrote is rubbish. Your laziness could cost us the client!” My boss is being a critical parent. The complementary ego state is “adaptive child.” So instead of being assertive right away, start off as an adaptive child and translate that state into “adult” before the boss has a chance to take over the conversation: “I’m really very sorry Mr. Boss; I really tried to write a winning proposal, but you’re right, I could have done better. Let’s discuss where I went wrong and I’ll revise it this afternoon.”
Be a child. Be an adult. Offer a solution.
That brings me to a few important qualities about assertiveness: honesty, confidence, offering a potential solution in a conflict, …
We talked a little bit about NLP (triggers and anchoring). Arose from hypnosis. Difference between NLP and hypnotism: hypnotism by-passes the conscious mind to tap into the subconscious. NLP uses consciousness through triggers and anchoring to tap the subconscious? I dunno. Basically: program your mind to do what you want it to do.
Talked about NLP with a participant during the tea break: he runs marathons and plays tennis and has read a couple books on NLP in the context of tennis and golf. It’s all about putting yourself in the right mind space so that you’re unaffected by external pressures. One thing he said about NLP that stuck with me: “Eliminate excuses.” So if you’ve got a golf tournament, eliminate all possibility of stress caused by YOU (get enough sleep, have equipment ready, eat a good breakfast, train for it). Talked a bit about marathons. He stressed the important of being physically prepared so as to eliminate that worry. Interesting point, I thought.
So all this stuff is really more important to personal LIFE satisfaction than job satisfaction (we’re lucky if the two coincide). But most jobs are task-driven, and so we’re motivated by a deadline or a to-do list, but not any personal investment. With running or sports, there’s a greater personal investment. In fact, the primary pressure is ourselves, which is more powerful than any other kind of pressure.
Some suggestions I found especially helpful:
Mix with assertive people
Visualize success
Put consequences of assertiveness in proportion (what is the worse that could happen if I’m assertive?)
Have a positive inner dialogue (affirmations)
Keep a record of achievement
All this stuff sounds very self helpy and gross but I do believe they have the power to be very effective. Trouble is, most of us are too shy/lazy/reluctant/forgetful/cycnical to actually try.
This excerpt from On Writing Well
Nobody turns so quickly into a bore as a traveler home from his travels. He enjoyed his trip so much that he wants to tell us all about it — and “all” is what we don’t want to hear… We don’t want him to describe every ride at Disneyland, or tell us that the Grand Canyon is awesome, or that Venice has canals…
You already know that Paris has an Eiffel Tower, perched on a parade of Brie and Beaujolais. What do have to say that you don’t already know, regardless of whether you’ve been to Paris or not? Does it suffice to say that Paris is “awesome” and leave it at that?
While I look for my voice, my angle, my style and substance, enjoy this photoset on Flickr. Here are a few of my favorites (Paris is extremely photogenic, especially at night):
This Christmas I want a new lens for my camera. The trouble is, I have no idea what I need, so I turned to more experienced users no the Photo.net forums for advice. This excerpt from my post sums up my qunadry:
I’m an amateur photographer looking for some advice on lenses (duh).
I have a Canon Rebel XTi and am currently working with the stock EFS 18-55mm zoom and an EF 50mm/f1.8 II. I’m so impressed with the quality of the 50mm lens that it’s a drag using the stock lens. I want more prime lenses that will afford the kind of clarity and richness that I get with the 50mm. Trouble is, I don’t have much experience with different lenses, so it’s really hard to sift through all the choices.
I primarily photograph landscapes and food. So my thought is to go for two prime lenses, a wide-angle for general purpose out-and-about photography, and a macro lens for food photography. My budget is ~$800.
Here are some questions I have:
* Which prime lens is best for general use, particularly outdoor?
* Would I be better off putting my money towards one really nice L lens, or is that something for later, once I’ve experimented with less expensive prime lens and have a better feel for what I want?
* Does anyone have experience with pancake lenses? Are these even available for Canon
* I’m going the prime lens route for several reasons - size, simplicity, and quality. At my level, is this silly?
The responses were overwhelming, in both depth and friendliness. Here is the gist of what I learned:
- The selection of wide primes is somewhat limited, and there are quite a few quality zoom lenses out there that I should consider
- It is helpful to look at the exif data on my photos to determine how wide I want to go. All of my wide landscape pics are at 18mm
- My existing 50mm lens may suffice for a macro lens, with the possible addition of extension tubes
- The more I learn, the harder it is to decide what to buy!
Following their advice, this is the list of lenses I’m currently considering (shown with their listed price on B&H Photo and stars indicating the number of photo.net folks who recommended it):
Zooms:
- Tamron 17-50/2.8 ($449) ***
- Canon 17-40 f/4 L ($629) ****
- Canon EFS 10-22mm ($639) *
- Canon EFS 17-55mm IS ($929) **
Wide primes:
- Canon 20mm f/2.8 USM ($399) ***
- Canon 24mm f/2.8 ($279) *
Macro Primes:
- Tamron 90/2.8 ($400) *
- Sigma 105mm ($399) *
- Canon 100mm f/2.8 USM ($449) **
Other things to consider:
- Extension tubes for my 50mm for macro photography
And these two look fun:
- Tokina AT-X 10-17mm f/3.5-4.5 fisheye to super wide-angle ($559) check it
- Tokina Zoom Super Wide Angle AF 12-24mm f/4 ($499)
My current inclination is to go for the Canon 17-40 f/4 L zoom lens. We’ll see how this inclination evolves over time.
These particular website have been invaluable to my search:
- The-Digital-Picture.com - for Canon lens review
- Photo.net - The people on the forums are SO helpful
- B&H Photo - for price comparisons
- Flickr - for fun, as always
And a special thanks to Tim, who patiently listens while I prattle on about a subject I know very little about.
Seems I’ve been too busy posting on SmarterFitter to say much on this corner of the web. That said, I’m cross-posting this recent entry on No Year’s Resolutions, which contain some scenes of a personal nature that seem appropriate here.
“Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink, and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.”
The above passage by Mark Twain sums up what most of already know about New Year’s Resolutions: they basically blow.
Looking back at my blog circa January 2004, I found this somewhat depressing excerpt:
this year is going to be all about making productive choices in my life. i’m going to SERIOUSLY look for a job. i’m not going to smoke no matter how stressed out or drunk or lonely i am. i’m not going to binge drink. i’m going to excercise and eat good food and master thin crust pizza. and i’m also going to continue to try not to talk shit about (or tease or belittle) other people.
What’s wrong with this picture? The paragraph is essentially a laundry list of all the things I procrastinated doing the year before. Furthermore, most of those resolutions are in response to something negative: smoking too much, drinking too much, loneliness?! The only item with an ounce of merit is the thing about thin crust pizza, which I still haven’t mastered, almost 4 years later.
Here’s what history has taught me about resolutions, New Year’s or otherwise:
- They enable procrastination
- They set me up for failure
- They make me feel worse, which is stupid, because I set them to feel better
- Resolutions in response to something negative - be it smoking, drinking, eating or working - never work
- Resolutions are always challenging, no matter what day of the year they start
Here is the last negative resolution I’m ever going to make: to abandon New Year’s Resolutions forever.
Instead, I will only engage in what I affectionately term the No Year’s Resolution:
Here’s the idea: Make positive changes now instead of putting them off for some arbitrary date in the future. A couple rules:
- The moment I “set” a resolution, that resolution starts that very instant
- Set only positive goals
- Deprive myself of nothing
Here’s the goal: to radically enjoy The Holiday Season rather than simply survive it. Then step into the completely arbitrary “new year” having done something I feel good about.
Who’s with me?
The above is the last of my negative commentary on resolutions (you already know why they suck). Instead, stay tuned for some hopefully useful tips on taking action and setting positive goals for a season that has a lot to offer, like friends and pie. I also want to feature people who are taking a similar approach to the season, so if you know of anyone, please let me know!
Tim has already blogged about resolving to go for a walk today. Here are some resolutions I’ve made
- Enjoy sparkling water with Ginger cordial at work - and accept that this small amount of unprocessed sugar is tastier and far better for my health than diet pop
- Prioritize my morning swim - Aim to go 3 times a week before work, planning my schedule every Sunday to accomodate evenings out (especially ones that tend to be rather late and merry)
- Be 100% vegan at home - this just feels good, dammit
- Be booze-free at home - and enjoy a drink or two when I go out with my friends (ok, maybe 3 drinks)
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