early this morning awoke feeling generally pissed off about what became of my life at ut-austin. i came to the conclusion that this town and this school is bad for me. i feel surrounded by complacency. there’s nothing wrong with being devoted to a phd or a career or a family. but i feel like i’m going nowhere. i’m not ready to settle yet. and sitting around drinking beer isn’t exactly helping me get out of bed in the morning with a purpose. there’s gotta be something bigger out there than happy hour prices and tired, drunk conversation, conversation i rarely remember the next day anyway. once again, i’m in search of greater meaning.
so i’ve sorted out a couple of plans slash goals.
for the next two weeks i will not consume any alcohol.
within the next four months i’d like to be in the best physical shape i’ve ever been in. this shouldn’t be hard because i’ve never really been in great shape to begin with. even when i was working out regularly, i smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish. i’m not exactly sure what this physical “shape” will entail, as my body type is resistent to “lean”ness. so the goal is to follow my own detailed regime for the next 4 months and see what happens. i may be sad to find that my top physical shape leaves me looking very similar to where i’m at now. but i’ll feel more comfortable walking around naked, and that’s what really counts in this socially retarded world.
i want to be out of my apartment by the end of may. i want to spend the summer travelling. this goal is financial and may require the selling off of some precious items. but this is inevitable: by the end of summer i would like to be moved out of austin, with a job secured in a dope ass city.
life is too damn short!
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