Archive for January, 2004

interweb date

Published on January 31, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

It’s amazing how weekends change when drinking and smoking suddenly aren’t an option.

First of all, I wake up earlier: today I arose at around 8:30am. And I was AWAKE… none of this ethereal haze of a hangover whose only cure is 4 hours in front of Sex and the City and fried food. None of this not remembering the conversations I had the night before.

None of this feeling like ass.

The evenings are a little rough. Last night I tried to go to happy hour at the Crown but I didn’t last very long. I’ve been feeling uncomfortable hanging out with the other grad students, and that paired with smokers had me craving cigarettes like a bitch. So I traded up for some not necessarily better company.

The whole thing was a bitter realization that I can’t really handle going to bars yet. I was okay for a while, but I’m so on edge lately that any of my old triggers are just too tempting.

So tonight I stayed in haxx0ring the interweb. Tim and I spent way too much time trying to get our favicons to work (the little icon in the html field). We eventually succeeded (and by “we”, I mean Tim figured it out first and then I followed his lead). Naturally, it was all just stupid and easy in the end. Fucking computers suck away so much time! And yet, this is fun for me.

That reminds me, we had pizza delivered from The Flying Tomato Pizza Kitchen, or as Tim calls it, “stupid pizza” because they have bullshit like “Thai Chicken Pizza” and “Texas Gulf Shrimp Scampi Pizza” (???). But free delivery. We went with “The Greek Goddess” which had mozzarella, kalamata olives, artichoke hearts, pepperocinis, roasted garlic and feta cheese. No sauce though, which I missed. Excellent thin crust, however; I’ll go back to try the more standard “Pizza Margherita” (tomato sauce, cheese, roma tomatoes and fresh basil).

So overall it’s been good keeping things simple lately. I’m doing lots of things I’ve been wanting to do like learn java, exercise almost daily, and cook lots. I have little time left to do the things I need to do like look for a job! I guess the trouble is that I’m excited about java and fitness; I’m not so excited about the job hunt. Every time I start, I become really scared because I feel like 19 years in school means 19 years not learning real life skills. Stats jobs want me to know SAS, which I don’t, analysis jobs want me to be an programming guru, which I’m not, and everything else wants experience experience experience, which I don’t have. It’s quite daunting but I’m sure I’ll pull through, even if that means going through a recruiter type person.

But for tonight I’m digging this NetNewsWire thing. There’s some neat new feeds out there…

- iTunes Music Store RSS Feed Generator
- Dilbert
- Word Of The Day
- RuPaul!!

Come Sail Away With Me

Published on January 31, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Such is the sad state of my world66 visited countries map.

In the future, I hope my map looks more like this:

So where do I go first?

NetNewsWire

Published on January 31, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I just downloaded NetNewsWire, a neat piece of software that lets me view frequently updated web content (blogs, news, etc) in one sorted place. It also has a weblog editor so I can edit spacekadet.org without using a web browser. I am trying out that feature right now! You can syndicate my site in your favorite newsreader, too!

I’m also watching Reno911! on Comedy Central. It’s a mockumentary-type program about a police force. Hilarious.

TV is so evil.

quantum bens

Published on January 30, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

mega props to bkowitz who recently sent me some tunes by The Bens, i.e. Ben Folds, i.e. Ben Lee and Ben Kweller. i’ve got four songs i can’t stop listening to, and i need more. but for now, “Bruised” will do nicely…

Oh no
Love just leaves you bruised if you wanna know
then find something to lose

The World won’t turn until something breaks
who will make the first last mistake?
They say that good things come to those who wait

Into the spiral
Your world and my world
It’s never final love just leaves you bruised

I went because you said you’d be there
A box of candy, smoke in your hair
When I didn’t know, I didn’t care
But now I know

Love just leaves you bruised

Oh no
Did love just leave you screwed?
You gotta go slow
‘Cause love just leaves you bruised
Love just leaves you bruised

And I got the scars to prove it

Back From Mordor

Published on January 30, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I just saw LOTR: Return of the King. After sitting through 3 hours of the movie, it was a little annoying that the end was so drawn out and cheesy. But overall it was an impressive film. It rekindled a fancy for Sean Astin that I thought I had lost after The Goonies.

On a more somber note, the more I try to dislike Sheryl Crowe’s music, the more I find myself sucked in. Today I was in the shower listening to the radio and I heard this song that started with a guy singing and I was like “this is nice”. Then Sheryl Crowe busts out: it’s a duet with Kid Rock. And it’s perfect. And it’s called “Picture”.

I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they wont tell
But their half hearted smiles tell me
Somethin’ just ain’t right
I been waitin’ on you for a long time
Fuelin’ up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain’t heard from you in 3 damn nights
I put your picture away
I wonder where you been
I can’t look at you while I’m lyin’ next to him
I put your picture away

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same ole same “how have you been”
Since you been gone my worlds been dark & grey
You reminded me of brighter days
I was off to drink you away

I thought about you for a long time
Can’t seem to get you off my mind
I can’t understand why we’re living life this way
I found your picture today
I swear I’ll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your picture today
I swear I’ll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say, I love you come back home

Burnt Bottom Blues

Published on January 29, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Tim sent me this today (from an unidentified source):

Bum Blast
Cell phones can sure be a pain in the ass sometimes. Mohamed Radzuan Yasin, of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, learned this the hard way when he left his recharging phone on the bed next to him while taking a nap. Radzuan was bolted awake when his cell phone spontaneously combusted and shattered into pieces. “The explosion scalded my buttocks, while there were burn marks on the mattress and the wall,” said Radzuan. The 40-year-old electrician has since been treated for his injuries at a hospital and filed a police report.

This scares me because I usually sleep with my phone as it happens to double as my alarm. I also usually sleep ON my phone because the vibration action helps wake me up. So now I have an alarm clock on my amazon.com wishlist, and you have yet another reason to bug me about getting a real clock in my apartment.

meat sticks

Published on January 28, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

today my bio seminar, held in a small, unventilated basement room of PAT, was privy to a caterred bbq lunch. it was a meat and slop fest of stink and slobber. my clothes must have absorbed the vapors because i reek of meat. but speaking of grade A top choice meat, it is worth mentioning that sheribomb’s far-flung friend, margo, has a livejournal. i met margo last week while she was visiting sheri. she’s a fine girl with impeccable posture who likes nachos but does not like dead bodies

time after time, the ghost of 80’s sap haunts me like the boosh

Published on January 28, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

after a very productive morning (culinarily speaking), my ipod and i headed out the door to catch the bus en route to ut. walking down the driveway, the song “time after time” pops into my head.

Flashback warm nights…Almost left behind…Suitcases of memories…

and i was in such a good mood. i turn on the iPod as fast as i can and who plays first on my random playlist but Cindy Fucking Lauper’s fucking drum being out of fucking time. ok, weird.

so i track forward, and it’s Breath, “Hands To Heaven”, with it’s melodramatic intro synth sap. for those of you who are wondering, the lyrics are not “tonight you hold my breast’s love nest” but rather “tonight you calm my restlessness”.

danger! i tracked forward again. Joe Jackson, “Breaking Us In Two”. by this point i’m sucked in for a bus ride of sad 80’s to tug on the ol’ heart strings. the thing about mushy music is that i can be in the best mood ever, everything could be going right, then something like “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House could come on the radio and i totaly lose it in girl-inspired romantic gush. i’m talking the kind of gush that warms you up from the inside out and makes your face red and your eyes water. either the gods of cheese and romance are trying to tell me something, or i need to diversify my iPod’s playlist.

on an aside, during all of thise i noticed the clip on my iPod case had partially snapped. this sucks because now, instead of Simple Minds’ “Alive and Kicking”, i’m going to have to listen to grunts and gasps at the gym.

joe, you’re killin’ me…

Could we be much closer if we tried?
We could stay at home and stare into each other’s eyes
Maybe we could last an hour
Maybe then we’d see right through
Always something breaking us in two.

learning java; learning how to love

Published on January 28, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

cs315 uses a rediculous online “judge” to determine the correctness of (i.e. grade) our homework assignments. i spent most of last night beating myself over the head because judge jackass kept returning “wrong answer”, even though it worked on my computer. turns out all i was doing wrong was using inline comments, which the judge can’t “handle”. very frustrating.

also frustrating is the recent wealth of new years resolutions clogging the gym. even at 10pm last night i had to wait for an elliptical machine. but there was plenty of room by the weights which is the only place i can’t handle when it’s crowded. i made the mistake of going to greg gym the other day…at 3pm. the first thing i noticed was that superman had put on a couple christmas pounds. then i noticed the crowd; people were scrunched up by the weights trying to fit a curl in. i gave up and rode one of those excercise bikes for 30 minutes, even though i hate them because i always feel like i’m sliding off the seat.

don’t get me wrong, superman is still my personal hero. rumor has it he smells bad, which gives me even more justifaction to admire him from afar.

despite the lameness of my evening, i’m glad to be (ever so slowly) learning java. and it wasn’t all that unpleasant. tea, crumpets, music, a comfy chair, and a warm laptop on my lap sounds like a near ideal way to spend a chilly thursday evening. it would be even more ideal if the laptop were replaced by a lap dance. actually i don’t know about that. no one has ever given me a lap dance before. i’m sure i’d just sit there making sarcastic comments the whole time. if i could eat crumpets and drink tea while i got the lapdance, then maybe i’d sit through it… like a movie. but for now, i’ll just take the laptop, thanks.

must get on with showering, studying, classing, excercising, eating eating eating, writing resumes, finding a job. so many eggs. so many choices. omelette or scrambled? quads or lats? boston or seattle? nicely trimmed or cleaner than a catholic school girl?

what would burt reynolds do?

to know thy inner nerd is to know thy need a girlfriend

Published on January 26, 2004 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I enjoy long walks on the beach, coding by candle light, and spending countless hours trying to understand my inner nerd.

the above is an excerpt from one of the responses i received to my “study group wanted” post on the cs315 (algorithms & data shavers) newsgroup. (we’re required to form study groups of six, otherwise i’d stick to my usual antisocial classroom tactics.) this experience is bringing me back to acm at uiuc. aside from programming computers, there is a juvenile yet clever sense of humor that unites many men plagued with both social ineptitude and a propensity for machines. i, too, was once naive and took these specimens at face value: individuals who, oh, may not have the best sense of fashion in the world, but share some common interests with me so may be worth talking to.

by the end of my freshman year in college, i couldn’t avoid the acm enough. it ruined me. if a guy tells me he’s in “computer science” or “electrical engineering”, i feel my legs brace for flight. conversation is useless, because they’re probably imagining me with my top off. or they’re thinking…

“at last a chance to lose my virginity!
let’s not pass this up!!!“

have i become too cynical or overly self-diluted? why did i choke up with anxiety when i noticed i’m one of only 2 white females in a cs class of over 100? i fear issues. i fear drama. i fear awkardness. even though i’m all “grown up”, can i count on the same in these people? maybe my experience was strictly a condition isolated to geeks residing in illinois between the years 1998 and 2002. am i losing my cool?

fuck - maybe i’m a geek, too??

i just hope that in the last few years i’ve learned a thing or two about enforcing my drama shields against NMD (nerds of mass destruction). let’s face it, i may study math and play with computers, but i also have styley glasses, a passport, a guy with an accent, an omega juicer, and over 300 instances of nookie under my belt. i’m above all this. in fact i should forget about geeks, delete this, and get on with tabulating more boom-boom.

christ - maybe it’s true that the things we hate in others are the same things we hate in ourselves?

i just want to learn java and go home.

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