Happy Cabride With A One Night Stand Day!
the other day someone reminded me of how days seemed to last forever when i was a wee lass. . . like those mornings when you were 5 years old and you woke up long before your parents and you wondered what to do with yourself for the lifetime (or 2 hours) before your parents awoke. i’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, because lately i feel like my weeks go by alarmingly fast. then i go to class, during the latter half of which i’m completely zoned out, and it’s so obvious to me why time passes so quickly. i hate pipe dreamers, but i’ve remained in this academic wasteland way past my prime. and then i freak out because i’m worried that i’m wasting my prime away in indecision. then i started thinking about the question: “what did you do today?” i guess i’m lucky because i usually have an answer. but as my days are feeling shorter and shorter, i’m pressed to pick out the interesting bits.
moving forward.
standing still.
then i started to think about tony pierce’s advice on college which makes me think i’ve had it wrong all this time.
the point is this:
i am now on a $100/week budget. this will allow me to save $200/mo. until Summer 2004, at which point i am going to fuck my studies and do something different… hopefully somewhere off 
the mainland. let’s face it: my booshetta is so ready to can this school shit and get a job. so i better get to having some fun while i still can.
so who wants a margarita?
so i was listening to some music, and this mood (urgency? regret? moist? ) reawakened my taste for the Gufs, an early 90s alternamellow band. i went on amazon.com to search for some CDs and almost bought the 3 they released UNTIL i remembered my budget. so i put them on my wish list, which is almost just as satisfying. i guess that’s what gnutella is for. i meant nutella. yum.
I was waiting for a cross-town in the
london underground when it struck me
that i’ve been waiting since birth to find a
love that would look and sound like a movie
so i changed my plans i rented a camera and
a van and then i called you
“i need you to pretend that we are in love
again.” and you agreed to
i want so badly to believe that “there is truth,
that love is real”
and i want life in every word to the extent
that it’s absurd
i greased the lens and framed the shot using
a friend as my stand-in
the script it called for rain but it was clear
that day so we faked it
the marker snapped and i yelled “quiet on
the set” and then called “action!”
and i kissed you in a style clark gable would
have admired (i thought it classic)
i want so badly to believe that “there is truth,
that love is real”
and i want life in every word to the extent
that it’s absurd
i know you’re wise beyond your years, but
do you ever get the fear
that your perfect verse is just a lie you tell
yourself to help you get by?
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