spacekadet blog

hello love kittens. now that the report is done, the beaurocratic bullshit begins. i’ve been running around since 9:30am sorting out formatting, getting forms signed, purchasing 25% cotton bond paper (that shit’s expensive, yo), et cetera, and so forth. don’t even get me started on the sweat factor.

i am like the ocean.

why?

because i taste salty.

the day would have been entirely boring if it weren’t for my iPod. i’ve rediscovered phoenix’s kick ass song, “If I Ever Feel Better”….

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I’ve been buried yet I’m still alive
It’s like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don’t try to deny
I’d better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can’t control

angsty lyrics with a club beat. jeezus… am i indie??

at the moment, i don’t care. i’ll let phoenix light my fire. and i will eat avacados. i scored some really good ones at Central Market there other day. there’s nothing like the feeling you get when you cut open an avacado and it’s a happy bright green (rather than a manky grey-brown you often see in HEB avacados). avacados are now my butter AND my cheese.

that reminds me… it’s been over a week since i gave up cheese, and i haven’t broken yet. it has actually been very easy. if i were excercising i might actually lose some blubber from the whole thing. i will get on that tomorrow. i must. i’m disappointed in myself. see, i was near 140 in Athens, and now I’m 129… and I know that’s not all from fat loss. whaddup, G? i’m never going to make it onto american gladiators at this rate. i saw this chick at spider house yesterday whose arms were so beefy i had to do a double take before i realized she wasn’t a man. everything else about her was fairly feminine, though… she had long slender legs, and a thin neck, but her arms were very muscular (and kind of hairy). it reminded me of my dad. on second thought, i don’t want anyone to ever look at me and think “wow, she reminds me of my dad”, so i think i’ll scrap this whole american gladiator fantasy and continue workings towards my healthy-capable-girl-with-good-taste-in-food-and-fashion-and-incredible-acrobatic-ability-in-the-sack fantasy.

that seems more tangible.

i will have to tackle each each goal one at a time (notice how i cleverly put the acrobatic thing at the end of the list). regarding my health — I NEED TO QUIT SMOKING. this is my life! (sob) so i might do something that tim’s friend suggested: keep a journal of how many cigarettes i’ve smoked a day, and when and were, and then every day, try to cut back. apparently the point is that cutting back becomes somewhat of an obsession? i don’t know if i’m obsessive-compulsive enough. if not, i’ll write the plan off as psychological poppycock. still, it’s cheaper than the hypnoshrink.

let the countdown begin.

As of 1:10 pm I’ve smoked:

1 cigarette at 9:30am on my porch with a cup of tea.

Wow… I’m doing great!!!! I complete me!!! I had me at hello!!

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